Anecdotes

- Recently, I drove my car so fast, that telegraph poles seemed to be a fence throughout the road! – One driver brags to the other.
- Not bad! But yesterday I turned round so suddenly that I managed to catch with my eyes my rear license plate! – The other replies.

Very self-satisfied and fastidious pianist(woman) is in a great hurry to catch a train.
She takes a taxi and says to driver:
- Drive quickly and carefully. World art still needs me very. Drive slowly and attentively. In no circumstances start until a policeman pull down his hand, don’t turn suddenly, don’t forget that the road is very wet, and...

Driver even wincing but says:
- Ok, mem! But if hardship would happen with you, then which hospital should I bring you to?

Why this pedestrian fell down? – Policeman asks a driver.
- I applied the brake at the crossroad to let him pass… and as soon as he got it, he fell into a swoon! – answered driver.

Two women go by car. Bang!.. tyre became flat. They stop the car, come up to flat tyre and one woman says to the other:
- Here’s a pretty kettle of fish! All the air has gone out…
The other replies:
- Well, not all… there is the rest of air from above…

Some man was run over by truck. Based on physical examination doctor concluded that the victim was dead. Having heard the word “dead”, man got up and gave a shout:
- I’m not dead, I’m alive!!!
- Quiet, honey… - his wife started calming him, - lie down and don’t argue - doctor knows that better!

- What a strange tattoo on your back: 00-88
- That’s not tattoo, it was my wife stepped on an accelerator while I was opening garage.

- This pedestrian is a self-murderer, - says the wife at wheel to her husband.
- He runs in front of the car for a half hour. What should I do?
- Darling, it would better of you get off of the sidewalk.

Two provincials go by car in the city.
- It looks like we’re approaching the capital.
- Why do you think so?
- Much more pedestrians are getting under the wheels.

Modest wife says her husband, who fell into a light sleep:
Don’t think I’m trying to command you again, but doesn’t it seem to you that that truck is approaching us too fast.

And what does the street with single-direction running mean?
Ohh, it is such street where you can be run into only from behind.