Anecdotes

A wife asks her husband:
- Sweetheart, let’s buy new car, let’s see the world.
- Which? This one or the other?

- Tell me please, madam, did you catch sight of license plate of a car that ran you over, by any chance?
- No, but that nuts lady, who drove that car was dressed in brand-new woolen suit with stripes, and there was blue colored bonnet decorated with artificial cherry-twig.

Married couple goes by car. Wife is at wheel, keeps high speed.
- Sweetheart, the brakes seems to have failure!
- Darling, try to drive into something cheap then…

Settling with taxi driver, passenger gives ten bucks, 2.50 on counter.
Taxi driver keeps the change and asks in a minute of waiting:
- Why don’t you get out?
- I am waiting for the change?
- Change? Change is for tip!
- Won’t you wet yourself?

Based on the police report, Ms. Brown, you ran over four pedestrians in the last three weeks.
- No, just three…
- But it’s written in protocol that there were four!!
- No, I just ran over one idiot twice.

A driver jumped out from the car after he ran over a pedestrian and yelled angrily at the victim, who was trying to get up with difficulty:
- Look out!!!
- What for? Are you planning on shifting into reverse??

A student sits for his driving exam:
- Alas, you failed exam! – says instructor.
- How could I have passed if I didn't even move?
- And how could you make a move if you got in the back sitting?

A student complains to the instructor during driving training:
- Look at those pedestrians! They don't even know basic traffic rules.
How careless! Some are running in front of the car, others are getting under the wheels.
- Don’t worry, my boy, - instructor interrupted.
- Let's get off of the sidewalk…

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."

Q: How can you double price of your Fiat?
A: Just full its tank with gas.
-
Q: How to provide your Fiat with additional repair parts?
A: Just follow another Fiat.
-
Q: What is the difference between Fiat and seeing eye dog?
A: No difference for buying any of it you must be blind.
-
Q: What is the content of Fiat’s manual last page?
A: Schedule for trains, buses, ferries and airplanes.
-
Q: How can you get rid of your Fiat?
A: Just besprinkle it with anti rust liquid.
-
Q: Why Fiat needs fourth pedal?
A: For pumping its airbags.
-
Q: Why Fiat has rear windscreen heating?
A: It needs for your hands don’t freeze when you pull it.
-
Q: What is the name of turbocharged Fiat?
A: Alfa – Romeo.
-
Q: What is the smallest part in Fiat?
A: The brain of owner.
-
Q: How many people need to produce Fiat?
A: Two. One is bending its body other is gluing it.
-
Q: What is maximal acceleration for Fiat?
A: 9.81 m/c² (this is acceleration of gravity)
-
Q: What is the difference between Fiat and brothel?
A: No difference. You feel shame when get in and get out, inside you fell good.
-
Q: Why two Fiat owners didn’t greet each other when they meet up on road.
A: Because they saw each other yet at Fiat’s repair service in the morning.